She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
talk of her extensive whoreness has crossed oceans. thats impressive.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
