First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
A hefty woman and I mean hefty shoved her number in my pocket at the gym without as much as a hello, winked and kept walking. Going to use your bed to defile her, don't want her to know where I live or have my neighbors see! Thanks, you're a pal!
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
