Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Found out in my property law class that you can sell your eggs for $8000. Helloooo spring break.
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
My life hurts
I woke up 30 minutes away from the bar, my car was at a train station, and when I got home all I got was the speechless head shake
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
Anyhow. He gives me orgasms and cuddles and buys me dinner and alcohol. Ill keep him around and cross that other girl bridge when we get there ha ha
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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