You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
sorry I blacked out our whole relationship
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
You abruptly started screaming because they had and I quote “calamari on the hoof”
Randomize
