I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
Will you be super villain lesbian lovers with me for halloween?
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
The only thing about him that I appreciated was that he destroyed the bathroom at your birthday and missed singing to you. And we all knew.
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
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