I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
Haha keeping the dream alive until Chinese New Year. I'm jobless with stitches in my face.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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