the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
whoever says they hate hangovers just doesnt know how to embrace them. i'm eating a mashed potato sandwich and watching grind.
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
she prefaced telling me she was pregnant with "houston, we have a problem"
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