woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
