Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
Hope I didn't wake u up but I woke up and there is a shirt, boxers, belt and jeans on my balcony, along with a naked guy who claimed to scale the building
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
Go forth my friend, but don't do any of that fruitful and multiplying shit.
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
