pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
