I think my vagina is haunted
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
His hands were made for my vagina.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
HAVE BEEN SPEAKING IN RUSSIAN ACCENT FOR 5 HOURS
SHIRT GONE
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