I looked at my own cervix.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
It's like hey here is one penis enjoy nothing but that for the rest of your life
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
I don't understand why you're so excited, it's my vagina not yours.
Randomize
