He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So drunk, too bad you don't want this
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
I cut my penus on the lid.
We're listening to the crystal method and doing bong hits for jesus
How are you texting me from 1998?
You refused to come over and kept yelling that you were gonna sleep on a car
The druken crowd just broke into singing "God Bless America" while waiting the newlyweds to get in the limo. My friend is eating rose petals.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Like do you realize his dealer came out with a gun and we laughed like it was all just fun and games...
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
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