how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Apparently throwing up on your own cape is still a party foul
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
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