Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
it's great music for shaving your balls
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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