I must be too annoying 4 u.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
my mom just wingman'd for me at a bar. i really don't know what else to say.
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
I am stoned and listening to the Olympics music I downloaded on Saturday. Best 6 dollars I have ever spent.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
There are five fire trucks here and needless to say my booty call left so come back home whenever you like
Did you survive the Atlanta roadway snowpocalypse?
All the bars are closed. Might as well be dead.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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