You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Some Russian dude just came up to us and I'm pretty sure he offered his girlfriend to have sex for 80 bucks. Whoever said porn movies were unrealistic.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
Besides the one of you shaking your cock for 10sec that was one of the best snapchat's ever haha
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
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