we need to drink 2009 down the drain
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
That awkward moment when you're drunk enough to crave cocaine, but you're sober enough to know it's only Tuesday.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
