Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
Did he make you just lay your head next to his cock and talk to it again?
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
