That's intense
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
I wish i could convert my hornyness to productiveness. I would have written a fucking book by now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
Randomize
