My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Random thought: what if being devoured by animals was a death penalty option...and you got to choose the animal?
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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