she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
Judge me...This apron fits PERFECTLY when I have no clothes on
Who said I was judging? More like congratulating.
My mom just invited me to come with them on their honeymoon to Mexico this summer. And I got a Bump-It in my stocking.
Pass the awkward sauce please.
I'm drowning in it here
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm using the Malibu pitcher you stole from the bar to make pancakes this morning. It's actually working really well.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
