the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
Drunk man just did a hand stand, fell over, knocked over a whole table of desserts, and didnt lose his cowboy hat. winner.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
She was to tired for head so she opted for a footjob with poor results. I dont want to talk about it
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
Randomize
