apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
hey you sure the big one didn't have a penis she left the seat up
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm just trying to find the strength to put my bra back on and come inside
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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