Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
When we started the night I was in zebra wedges & she was in my black boots... I woke up wearing pink flip flops & the mirror on my rental is fuxked up. Wtf happened last night?
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Just remember I’m your roommate with extremely questionable morals
Exactly, what could possibly go wrong
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
