Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
This is not a drunk text right now. This is an i want your dick text. There is a difference.
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
This snow needs to melt so I can get wasted on someones front lawn
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Someone explain to me why I woke up to find a stolen shopping cart in my room...
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
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