Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
We just threw our carpet out of our room. Via fourth floor window style.
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
Here's a tip. Don't party with someone that needs sexual attention. Drinking and sexual attention don't mesh well in the morning. Especially over a bowl of Cheerios.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
Randomize
