Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
and a jello shot exploded in my bra last night. Now I have blueberry smurfette boobs. Awesome.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Never underestimate the power of titties
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
