come downstairs quick. our boyfriends are having a dance off in nothing but their underwear and shoes. and they have semis too.
we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
Sorry again for almost setting you on fire.
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
If you wear a peguin suit you MUST send me a picture!!!
Randomize
