everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We stayed in and smoked weed and watched Dreamgirls. We made each other's vaginal lips sing the songs. Mine was Beyonce, hers was Jamie Foxx. I think this is one of those times you're jealous you're not an awesome lesbian.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Please tell me I did not ask the bartender how big his dick was.
PSA: Morning booty calls are no longer accepted after the hours of 6am when I've been drinking or before 11am when I have not. Your cooperation is appreciated.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Dad just showed up on someone else's golf cart, filled an ice chest with booze and left while yelling "SHINANIGANS!!!!" this is going no where fast.
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
