Naturally, I just peed all over the floor. Two guys in front of me looked at me, but i just shrugged. They won't remember either.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
my poor anus
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
God, I missed his penis.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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