dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
I'm tuning in to watch Heidi Montag crash and burn on the Miss Universe Pageant. Somebody call 911. and I'm not talking about the Sean Kingston song.
I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
Fastest blow job ever. Though it was probably a good thing since we were in front of my house.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
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