My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
I always see him when I'm wearing my ripped pants. I think its because of the hole in the crotch. My vag sends out supersonic "I'm horny" waves to him. Otherwise the calls are muffled.
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
I woke up in a tow truck cuddling plan b. Can you pick me up?
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
he went down on me to a drake song and now i think i need a penicillin shot
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
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