just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Is it ironic that our divorce court is a block from where we had our reception? Or is it just sad? Alanis has confused my understanding of irony.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
Randomize
