Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
got arrested for "breaking and entering" last night when i supposedly went into the wrong house made a sandwich and tried jerking off to porn on the tv...the cops told me they came in while my dick was out...oh and i missed work this morning and got fired
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
She said she liked strap-ons.
SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT SHOES, YOU ASSHOLE! YOU'RE THE WORST WINGMAN EVER!
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
I tried to help you up but you said "let me dance it off"
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
