Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
Is it weird that I have contacts who i've classified as DO NOT ANSWER?
Lol no its called college
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
your cat followed me a mile away from your house. if it doesn't come back, i'm sorry, but I needed to get laid tonight.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
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