I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
I understand Curling. That high.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
You told me I was special while we were having sex and I asked why.
What did I say?
Don't ask me questions while I have an erection,
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was just tongue fucked into oblivion.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
