one two three fourrrrnication!
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
I love you. Doing a double. Going to die. It will be painful. Let the world know i partied. God, did i party.
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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