That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
