So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
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