I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
If you wake up soonish don't worry. I took your dog to burger king and now we're going to see some nice girls.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Dude, my sex life is so sad since I started having feelings.
Sleeping with just one person sucks
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
