the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Randomize
