eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
A check for $9 that I used to buy six boxes of Girl Scout cookies bounced. I think I've hit a new low.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
well ya only live once...
that cant be your answer for every horrible thing you do
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
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