I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Never again. Her vagina looked like a sad old man.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Just took a shot of tequila with a random guy at the supermarket. Happy cinco de fourth.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I don't know how guys can take themselves seriously when they see themselves naked
drunk me cartwheeled over a turtle sandbox & slit my foot open on a cinder block. how do you explain that to a doctor?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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