we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
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