Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
Girl. There is the cutest old gay here. He's approximately 100 years old and kind as shit.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
If I don't have the money by then, I'll pay you in sex.
It's going to be 23.5 times of sex and 19 blow jobs. I just googled it.
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
why is there a porcupine in the kitchen
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