It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Come see our sink grown plant.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Are we DOING anything for lunch...if sex is involved, let's just be straight forward and stop wasting the first half hour! We just need to get to the point
He woke up wondering who broke in and rearranged all the furniture. He reviewed 11 hours of security footage before I told him he did it while whiskey-drunk.
Randomize
