what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I was just sitting on the ground alone in fetal position shivering and chewing on my hand when she found me. ecstasy was not my best idea.
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Randomize
