So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
I feel like our lives always have been and always will be a never ending drunken rampage full of pregnancy scares and lost brain cells
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I used my mad pharmacist skills to turn ordinary birth control into morning after. I think my professors would be proud.
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
