I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Vomit. Vomit. Whatever. You wear a tiara in public.
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
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