TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
I really wanna just be like, can you just eat me out and stop whining
I think that would solve a million problems
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
Chaz got drunk and passed out so we superglued a kazoo to his mouth. Listening to him Panic when he woke up was fucking hilarious.
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