she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
It's a gateway drink.... Starts with wine... Then I wake up in my car with mascara on my arms covered in french fries...
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Yeah I'm at work. Nothing like the threat of blowing chunks on passing cars to make you feel alive.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
He shit in the fireplace
Randomize
