Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
This lady in my dui class just asked what patron was. I feel like she doesn't belong here
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Randomize
